Dogs Are Like Vacuums

They pick up all the fuzz and bits of food off the carpet. The only problem I’ve run in to is the moment when something valuable is sucked up. I find it’s much easier to retrieve the item from the guts of a vacuum than from a dog.

Dog Envy – He’s Got to be Kidding

Here’s an excerpt from an email I received from a *single* guy: “I also am rather envious of single women’s pets due to the love, attention and affection which their owners prodigally squander on them while nice single men such as myself are lonely and emotionally deprived (emotional deprivation is a major issue with me due to growing up that way). For this reason I cannot countenance pets (although a reptile is not much of a threat in terms of competition for scarce emotional resources).”

Last night, when I kissed the top of Magnus’ head before I tucked him safely away for the night, I chuckled as I remembered this email. Magnus sleeps in a cage, eats tastless hard crunchy food, isn’t allowed to sit on the furniture, is forbidden to jump on me, and wears nothing but a green collar. What does the silly man envy? Something tells me if I gave equal attention to the silly man, he would not be excited to see me when I came home, or look forward to eating, and I wouldn’t get showered with wet, sloppy kisses. Yeah. I’m keeping the dog!




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